Tales From the Terran Republic

Mark Guilderan, the Republic’s Secretary of State, rushed into a private chamber in his office and locked the door.

He took a deep breath, sat at his desk, and initiated a secure video conference call.

Moments later, Glenn Maxwell, the director of Terran Intelligence, appeared on his screen.

“Mark!” Glenn said in a cheerful voice, “How are you this fine day? Keeping the ship of state from getting stuck in a canal?”

“Barely,” Mark said as he squinted suspiciously at Glenn Maxwell. Glenn? Cheerful?… Friendly?

Glenn laughed pleasantly… actually pleasantly.

Mark looked at him very carefully. His people sense had served him well both during the Sol Wars and in the years that followed.

Something was definitely not right.

“I have a situation, Glenn,” Mark said in a very serious tone, “This is a secure line, and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Is Jon Wintersmith telling the truth?”

“Jon said a lot of shit,” Glenn laughed, “some of it I can confirm, and some of it—“

“Is that psycho planning on starting another Sol War?”

“I haven’t talked to her since all that bullshit over in the Federation went down between her and Jon,” Glenn replied, “I mean, I can confirm she is behind the bio-weapon. That much I know is true, and we both know that there is definitely a regime change in the works… or was… Fuck! I can’t get anything out of Marrow, Monarch, or any of the rest of those assholes except for ‘hold fast’ and root out the traitors...”

Glenn burst out in laughter again.

“I mean, the nerve of them… of us… calling anyone traitors, right?”

“Don’t give me that shit!” Mark snapped, “I know you know more than just that!”

“Geez, relax, dude,” Glenn laughed, “Ok, there is also this, you know that Samuels chick, the Reaper lord?”

“The one who nuked the Barnard’s Star system?”

“Yeah, that one!” Glenn snickered, “Well, she wasn’t picking targets at random. There was a lot, and I mean a LOT of stuff where she hit, much more than was officially there. It’s all vapor and teeny tiny pebbles now, but those asteroid bases were hollow and completely FILLED with all sorts of things, including a significant number of nuclear weapons. Another ‘warehouse’ was packed to the gills with people, hundreds of them, and I mean hundreds, along with other traces and debris that could be weapons and military supplies. We know that depleted uranium was there in significant quantities, enough for it to have been tank armor. That Samuels woman wiped out a secret army, nukes, millions of tons of food, medicine… and only she knows what else. Patricia Hu was definitely planning on something.”

“Goddammit!” Mark snarled, “I didn’t sign up for this!”

“C’mon, Mark,” Glenn said pleasantly, “None of this should come as a big surprise. You knew what she was when you got into bed with her. What did you think she was going to do when she got into power, hand out puppies? We all knew some dark shit would go down, so don’t sit there and pretend to be all shocked now.”

“But starting a Sol War?” Mark asked as he shook his head. “No.”

“Uh, oh,” Glenn laughed, “I know that look. That’s the ‘Mark is about to take his toys and go home’ pout. You are in WAY too deep to back out now. This goes south, and we BOTH swing… literally… AND the treatments stop for our families. That ‘bio weapon’? That’s what your wife has to look forward to while she cries and puts flowers out at the landfill. Traitors don’t get headstones, Mark. We just cremate them and toss the ashes in the bin. Is that what you want?”

“...”

“Yeah,” Glenn replied with a smirk, “think about that. Have you seen what that plague does? Take a look at what Karen has to look forward to, broke, disavowed, and alone. If you want ‘out,’ the first thing you need to do is put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. It would be kinder.”

“...”

“Sorry,” Glenn smiled, “I don’t mean to be a dick, but that’s the facts, dude. We are fucked. The treatment was bogus, and Patricia Hu has decided to go all… well… Patricia Hu on us… IF she’s still alive. Nobody has seen or heard of her since she got stabbed. Monarch and Marrow claim that she is still in charge, but if she is, then she is just taking her beating like a little bitch, and that really doesn’t sound like the Patricia Hu I know.”

“Jesus...”

“You aren’t the only person with real reservations concerning this situation,” Glenn said smoothly, “To be honest, I’m not particularly thrilled about it either. What we need to do is have a meeting, a real meeting… ALL of us… well, all of us at the top anyway. We need to get together and make Patricia Hu come forward and explain herself, her plan, and exactly what the fuck she is going to do about this clusterfuck. She needs us as much as we need her, and if we say ‘no Sol War’, then there will be no Sol War. We need to know what the plan is, what is being done about the treatment situation, and what her real plans are for after she gets into power. If enough of us band together, she will have to come out of hiding, or the whole plan goes belly up, and we can all cut a deal with Momma. You know the Prime Minister likes things to run smoothly. If we all come forward together, we can nip this in the bud and maybe, just maybe, save our own hides in the bargain…”

Glenn leaned forward and locked eyes with Mark through the screen.

“You in?”

Glenn wants us all to meet? Glenn, “Paranoia” Maxwell wants a… wait… that tone… Oh no...

Mark had seen this before. He remembered that tone, the exact tone that Glenn was using… right… now…

It was back in the War of Independence when the Zebus caught that weeb spy. It wasn’t obvious. In fact, if you hadn’t seen it before, you’d miss it.

But there are certain things that if you ever see them once, you never forget, no matter how badly you want to. It was something about the cheerful tone of voice. There was no mistake. It was the exact same tone that spy had as he was cheerfully telling Momma Augustine everything while her little hench-girl was turning his brain into a Mr. Potato Head!

God, he hated that psycho and her goddamn green blazer. Until he met her, he naively thought he knew all of the horrors one human could inflict on another. He still occasionally had to deal with her, and whenever he did, it was always some truly fucked up shit.

He didn’t like Glenn. He had even wished on more than one occasion he would die in a fire, but even Glenn didn’t deserve what they did to him.

“Yeah...” Mark said as he took a deep breath, pretending to carefully consider things. “Set up the meeting. I’ll be there.”

“Great!” Glenn said happily as he bounced up and down, “I’ll set it up. I’ll get in contact with you once the details are set.”

“Looking forward to it,” Mark said smoothly, “It will be great to finally get this resolved. Thank you, Glenn. I owe you one.”

“No,” Glenn grinned, “thank you!”

The screen reverted to his desktop as the call ended.

Fuck.

Mark took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Yep, he was in the shit. On the bright side, his rather fucked up life prepared him for moments like this.

Priority one.

At times like these, he always knew what that was.

He clicked a few icons, and a well-dressed woman in her thirties appeared.

“Sir?” she asked.

“I hate to impose, but all Hell has just broken loose, and I have to take care of a few things personally. Could you please convey my apologies to the Kalent and let him know I will be out of the office for a few hours. Let him know that I want to continue our conversation, but that conversation will be much more fruitful in a few hours.”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied.

After that call was finished, Mark stood and calmly did not run out of the room. He then calmly did not run down the hall and out of the building.

***

Karen Guilderan was unloading the dishwasher when the front door opened.

It was Mark!

She smiled as she rushed to meet him…

The smile faded as she looked at his face.

“What?” she asked.

Mark sighed. Oh, how she hated that sigh. It was one she hadn’t heard in so very long, but it chilled her to the bone. Something bad, very bad, was happening.

“My love,” Mark said with a heavy voice, “I am so very sorry, but we need to talk.”

A few minutes later, Karen just scoffed.

“Why did you scare me like that?” she snorted. “I thought it was something serious.”

“This is pretty goddamn serious, Karen.”

“And we will get through it,” she replied as she hugged him. “You’ll figure it out. You always do. Besides, after everything we’ve been through, this is nothing.”

“But the treatments...”

“I’m over a hundred and sixty,” she laughed. “and I should have died… I would have died what? A hundred and forty years ago… if it wasn’t for you. Every day since then has been a gift, and if I die because we stop the next Sol War from happening, well… I can’t think of a better reason. I mean, I’m not happy that I’m going to die but, sweetie, I may not be as smart as you, but I’m not stupid. I already knew the treatments had a problem. I read Jon’s manifesto.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I figured you would tell me when you were ready like you always do,” she smiled. “I also knew you would make the right decision in the end. That, I am happy about. I’m very proud of you.”

She gently kissed him on the lips.

“And if I didn’t?”

“Then I would have shot you.”

“Karen!” Mark laughed.

“...with a stunner!” Karen laughed, “And then I would have grabbed you and the bug-out bag and hit the fucking road! By the time your dumb ass came to, we’d be in hyperspace.”

“That’s my girl,” Mark chuckled. “Speaking of that bug-out bag...”

“Mark, no.”

“You need to take it and go, just for a little while, until I know what Augustine will do.”

“No fucking way, sweetheart.”

“Please, for me. I need to know you are safe. Don’t tell me where you are going. I’ll send word through a blind drop when I know the coast is clear.”

Mark stepped a little further into the hallway and drove his fist through the drywall.

“Dammit, Mark!” Karen shouted. “Well!” she huffed. “You’re going to have to repaint the whole hall now. Happy?”

“Delighted,” Mark replied as he pulled at the wall with both hands revealing a safe shrouded in smuggler’s web. He opened it and withdrew an old duffel bag.

He handed it to Karen.

“Now take this… No, I mean it. Take it!” Mark said, firmly pressing the old bag into Karen’s hands.

“...Fine!” Karen huffed. “…Dumbass… I can’t believe you wrecked the fucking hallway! Look at this mess!”

“Provided I’m still alive, I will clean it up and repaint the hall before you get back. Now go!”

“Not so fast, hotshot,” Karen said as she grabbed him by the collar. “We have a long-standing ‘tradition’ before we split up at times like these… and our bodies are still young and healthy...”

“That we do,” Mark smiled as he took her in his arms.

Well over an hour later (you go, Mark!) Karen pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the shopping center where Mark thought she would hire a cab under a false identity and then make for a starport…

Like she was going to do any of that bullshit.

She pulled out her phone and manually dialed a rather long number.

A few moments later, Prime Minister Augustine Raharimampionon’s face appeared on her display.

“Karen?” Augustine asked in confusion.

“Hi Augie,” Karen replied. “You know that favor you owe me?”

“How could I forget?”

“I’m collecting.”

***

Prime Minister Augustine successfully kept from smiling as Mark grimly made his confession.

“… I don’t care what happens to me,” Mark said, his voice nearly breaking, “But Karen, she had nothing to do with this.”

“So you say,” Augustine said as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously and desperately tried not to burst into laughter.

“It’s the truth, I swear it!” Mark exclaimed.

“Yes,” Augustine smirked, “you do like to keep each other in the dark about so many things. It’s not for me to judge but keeping secrets can’t be good for a relationship… Then again, you two seem to make it work. Do not fear for your wife, Mark. Not to speak ill of her, but she isn’t really the type to scheme and (snerk… cough… cough…) excuse me!… She really doesn’t seem the type does she?”

“No, she isn’t!” Mark insisted.

“Ok,” Augustine said calmly. “Karen isn’t involved.”

“And I fully accept that my career is done.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“And that the investigation will uncover financial irregularities that will ruin me.”

“Count on it.”

“But Karen… She is going to be facing medical issues as a result of all of this, and she—“

“Is still a citizen of the Republic and will receive the best of care. And, while she never held any official position nor did she ever draw a paycheck directly, her actions during the Sol Wars and especially during the War of Independence did not go unnoticed,” the Prime Minister said calmly, “There are still those of us who remember those days in the tunnels, Mark. Don’t worry about Karen. Worry about yourself.” she said darkly. “Goddammit, Mark! I can’t believe you would do this! When I saw your name on the list…”

Augustine trailed off.

“Everyone else came as little surprise but you… you… Why? Why, Mark? Why did you do this?”

Mark looked down.

“I wanted…”

He sobbed.

“I wanted another hundred years with her.”

Augustine sighed. It was the one reason she could accept, not forgive, but accept.

“It was supposed to just be a… ‘realignment’… you know, like we did to Tak? I had no idea what she really had planned. By the time I found out the truth, I was in too deep, but… I can’t. Not another Sol War… No… Not even for Karen. I can’t be a part of this anymore. I was just going to run, head for Saralan, or Quorcox, or maybe just get a ship and see how long Karen and I have left...”

Mark trailed off.

“So why didn’t you?” Augustine asked.

“Two reasons,” Mark replied, “One, a Kalent just showed up in my office carrying a hyperspatial communications device—“

“Wait… walked into your office with that?”

“Yeah, I’m not happy about it either,” Mark said with a wince, “Anyway, It was some ‘lord’ from their homeworld who wants to establish direct relations with the Republic.”

“No shit?” Augustine asked incredulously.

“No shit,” Mark replied with big eyes. “I might be a traitor, but I’m still the Secretary of State, and this is HUGE! They even want to discuss a nonaggression pact, possibly even a technology exchange!”

“Well, goddamn!” Augustine said in amazement. “What do they want?”

“Just a Federation citizen that we have in custody released… so far,” Mark replied, “The Plath is up for multiple homicides, but the critters they wasted weren’t citizens, so it’s a no-brainer… though I suspect they will want more in the end. However, they did say that they were unhappy with the Federation’s performance of late… to ol’ Scaly-Snatch’s face! God! The look on her face! She actually destroyed my door on the way out she was so freaked!”

Augustine laughed in delight. She hated Harruux-ta.

“Please tell me you have that on tape!”

“I do,” Mark replied as he pressed a few icons on his phone and handed it to the Prime Minister.

“Oh, I needed that,” Augustine laughed after she watched the drama unfold. “Ok, here’s what we are going to do. First of all, you are going to be Mark Guilderan and represent the Republic. You will deal with the Kalent, and you will get whatever you can get out of those slimy little fuckers. After that, you will, of course, privately brief me on the result. When you do, you will present me with a Mark Guilderan level document detailing everything, and I mean everything you have done and everything you have learned during your little experiment with sedition. Leave one thing out, and this deal is off, got it?”

Mark nodded.

“During our private meeting,” Augustine continued, “you will also visit with some lovely people who will help you remember any details you might have ‘forgotten’. You will cooperate fully with these nice people, understand?”

“Not Jacqueline!!!” Mark exclaimed in horror, “Please, anything but that!!!”

“What?” Augustine asked in surprise.

“I know what happened to Glenn! Please!”

“I won’t insult your intelligence by denying it,” Augustine replied calmly, “but how did you find that out?”

“I called him today and… I’ve seen it before, remember? Back in the tunnels?”

“Ah yes,” Augustine laughed, “I had almost forgotten about that. As I recall, It made quite the impression on you.”

“I’ll cooperate fully! Please!”

“Is this that second reason you mentioned?”

“Y-yes...” Mark replied quietly, “When I realized what had happened to him, I realized that you already knew I was involved, not suspected, knew. There was no way I could run. You would let me get conveniently out of sight and then… then...”

“You are absolutely correct about that, old friend,” Augustine smiled.

“So I couldn’t bring Karen. It might look like she was involved. I couldn’t risk it. And I couldn’t continue to support Patricia Hu once I received confirmation that she was planning on starting a Sol Wars level situation. So the only option I had left was to try to stop it, but if I did, they would go after Karen...”

“It’s what I would do in her situation,” Augustine replied.

“So I could only just sit and hope that you or someone else would put an end to it… and me.”

“Noble sedition… Now I’ve heard everything.”

“But when the Kalent showed up, I had a reason to have a private meeting with you, so I went home, said goodbye to Karen, and came here.”

“And you did,” Augustine said with a smile, “Ok, traitor, here’s the deal. You will remain at your post, serve the Republic and negotiate with the fucking Kalent. You will continue to be one of Patricia Hu’s crabs and keep us informed as to the comings and goings of the other lice. Then, at the appropriate time, you will help me maintain stability as we fix this goddamn mess. After that, you will face justice for your crimes… However…”

Augustine smiled.

“You will be at the end of the queue as far as trials go. There are going to be a LOT of trials and a FULL investigation. These things take time… could take years to fully address everyone and everything. We don’t know how long you two have left, but there is a very good chance that you will be able to spend most if not all of your remaining time together.”

Mark burst into tears.

“Thank you!!! Thank you!!!”

“Now, if we DO find a cure for what you have done to yourself, I will PERSONALLY drag you back from the gates of Hell and make goddamn SURE you serve the appropriate amount of time for what you have actually DONE thus far… But you would be a legitimate low-risk prisoner, and it would be entirely appropriate for your sentence to be served in an appropriate facility. Oh, you will face some very real consequences for your actions, count on it, but you won’t swing or be welded in. What actually happens depends on the details of your actions and the DOJ, but it will be fair… If it comes to that, and your cooperation will certainly count for something when it comes to sentencing. I’m sorry, but this is the best I can do. I can’t sweep this one under the rug. When the news breaks, they are going to want blood… and to be honest, I want a drop or two myself.”

“No! This is more than I dreamed of! Thank you!” Mark gushed. “You won’t regret this!”

“Make certain that I don’t, Mark,” Augustine replied. “Oh, and for the record, you are a FUCKING MORON!!! IDIOT!!! What were you fucking thinking?!?”

“No argument here,” Mark replied.

“Ok, now go, and don’t be an idiot when you deal with the Kalent.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mark rose to leave.

“Oh, and Mark?”

“Yes, Prime Minister?”

“When Glenn sets up that little meeting of his,” Augustine said with a little smile, “you might want to skip it.”

“Yes, Prime Minister.”

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